I think I'm going through some depression because of it all. From financial stuff, to health issues, work related problems, everything just seems to add up and collect on my mind like a layer of despair that won't wash off or diminish over time.
I keep telling myself to take things one at a time but as with all bad things, they seem to come not alone but together with other problems. But to deal with it all... I have to take things a step at a time.
So for 2013 here are my goals.
- Get my credit and debt situations on track. Next month my car will finally be paid off. I made a pretty stupid decision and bought a car I couldn't really afford and saddled myself with extra debts along the way to try and pay off my other expenses and well... didn't work out too good. Got so bad that some of the accounts have gone to collections and one even so far as filed a lawsuit against me to get me to pay. Not fun. No excuses, just dumb decisions on my part and now I have to deal with it. With my car paid off, it'll hopefully free up some cash to help deal with settling these debts.
- Health and physical issues. Mid-last year, in the middle of the night I got up, went to the bathroom and ended up passing out. In the process, I ended up slamming my head on the bathroom sink counter and fracturing one of my front teeth and chipping another one. Went to the ER (Kaiser fees... omg), they said they couldn't find anything wrong but just thought maybe I was dehydrated or low blood pressure and me getting up from the toilet caused me to pass out (head rush?). They were happy to bill me for yet hundreds more dollars to basically tell me to drink more water and put my head between my knees if I feel dizzy on the toilet again. Thanks doc :P As if I didn't already have enough problems.
Then I had to deal with my tooth. Because it was fractured so close to the gumline, they basically extracted the tooth, applied some material to smooth out the chipped tooth next to it and gave me a temporary Invisalign thing with a fake tooth in it that I've been using since. Only problem is that over time the thing has started to crack and break over time, since I've been eating with it too. Even though I was supposed to take it out to eat, I found I couldn't eat properly without it since I couldn't bite or tear any food with my front tooth missing :(
It was only supposed to be temporary and I think oral surgeon was prepping me for getting a dental implant, but after a few times of asking him about other options and what if I can't afford it yet (I can't.), he'd always brush it off. I ended up cancelling my last appointment where they basically wanted to begin gum and bone grafts to the now empty area where my tooth used to be. I don't even think I can afford this procedure let alone the actual implant so I'm not sure what to do now. Since the neighboring teeth actually got chipped, I'm wondering if I'm a good candidate for a bridge. Normally people don't like doing those since they basically have to grind down neighboring teeth to act as bases to attach the bridge and to do that to otherwise undamaged teeth seems unnecessary and a waste. But my neighboring teeth were already damaged in the accident so hmm... Main problem is my dental insurance from work sucks. It really sucks. Even the oral surgeon's assistant who looked up my coverage commented to me, "wow where did you get this insurance, it really sucks". All it really paid for was the extraction, but everything else would be up to me :( Again... as if I didn't already have money problems. - Gym. I've really got to get back to the gym. I used to have a routine where I'd at least go once a week if not multiple days a week. Now it's rare if I even go once every other week.
- Work / Education. Things at work are not looking good. Even though I've been promoted since last year, it has really been a struggle. The company itself does not look like it's growing and in fact is struggling to hold itself together. My supervisor who quit last year and whose position I stepped into basically saw the writing on the wall I suppose. I work as a tech support manager and admittedly some of these job postings I'm finding are asking for things that are above my head. I'll need to do some serious reading or studying to even meet these long lists of qualifications I'm seeing. It's tough out there. I've been thinking really hard about maybe switching it up and getting into software instead of tech support. That's actually what my supervisor ended up doing. He worked here for 12 years and on the side began taking software programming classes online at a community college and found himself a programming gig. The spring semester has already started at our local CCs out here though. One thing at a time I guess.
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